Michelle—How so very sad, that is quite a box that you two find yourself in with little means to climb out of it.  But, there is a way.  You would be so encouraged by the moms on the Soiling Solutions (SS) parents’ forum who support and advise one another using the Clean Kid Manual (CKM).  There are many children your daughter’s age and even older who finally gathered themselves together to take on the encopresis monster.  Your daughter sounds like a remarkable person who is forging ahead even with this problem.  Think of what she could do without this monster on her back!  Her attitude would very likely improve.  You will have to be very courageous and determined to proceed.  Your daughter will have to be very courageous and determined as well.  Right now she has intimidated you and needs to be confronted with structured advice and a protocol which will have her soil free inside of 2 weeks.  She has had advice that has never worked before doing the same old same old!  This should have been addressed aggressively and with certainty some time ago.  The docs have emphasized “maintenance therapy” with stool softeners like Miralax or Lactulose and when that did not work they added, “There, there now, she will grow out of it”.  Yeah, right!  Your daughter has given up on gaining control for good reason, it has never worked!  Why try?  Reminders only make her feel like a failure, and being who she is, she is absolutely going to reject that.  Everyone feels like a failure on this particular issue.  She needs hope, a strong mama bear, and a protocol that works.  Keep reading the questions and answers below and go to www.soilingsolutions.com for more information.  You and hopefully she will be encouraged and be able to climb out of that box.  Your relationship will be vastly improved if you can follow through with the SS protocol and gain a grateful daughter.  There is no other alternative out there that can be done in the home.  Remember those other moms out there who have done this and wish to help you.  I will send you a copy of my recent medical journal article and editorials regarding it.